Living with ADHD

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder.

One thing I want people to know about ADHD is that it is not a flaw. It might be challenging at times but it is also a strength.

People with ADHD tend to be more creative and passionate for the things that do keep their interest. They have a relentless curiosity and a drive for knowledge.

People with ADHD have an “interest-based nervous system”, a term coined by Dr. William Dodson, a psychiatrist specializing in ADHD.

Below are some common signs of ADHD :

Focus

It is not because you can easily focus on some things that it means you do not have a hard time with your concentration - keeping consistent is what’s difficult. And if you follow one distraction, you might end up two hours later, not even remembering what you were doing in the first place. This is due to difficulty with sequential processing.

You might have difficulty concentrating when there is a small noise in the room, because it will feel like it is taking up the whole space in your brain. If you are at a busy restaurant, you might have trouble focusing your attention on the person in front of you and instead hear all the conversations around you.

On the other hand, the moment the tv or radio is turned on, nothing else exists. You might only be able to work while listening to music you already know the lyrics to, because if you don’t - your brain will get more interested in the music. If you watch a movie in bed, no matter how tired you are, you might be unable to fall asleep.

You might sometimes doze off mid-sentence or you might repeat yourself two minutes later, not realizing you had already shared your thoughts.

There are 4 factors that help people with ADHD focus : urgency, novelty, challenge and interest.

Motivation & procrastination

Routine is important for people with ADHD (although they will often get bored of it easily), because without it you might lack the motivation to engage in the activities you want to and you can become easily overwhelmed.

If you have a project due in a month, you might find it difficult to find the focus necessary to work on it consistently and the motivation to start the task. You might find yourself postponing tasks for weeks at a time, day after day, even if you know it is important. You will most likely procrastinate and until it is “urgent” (few days beforehand) then it will be a race against time.

I once heard that ADHD is that we are “driving ourselves into a stressed state (of cortisol and adrenaline) to provoke focus” but that isn’t sustainable, especially as we get older and demands pile up.

Inattention & forgetfulness

ADHD means that you might overlook details and make careless errors, especially on administrative tasks. This can show up in tests at school, not because you don’t know the answer but because you might skip simple words like “tell me which one is not an appropriate response?”.

You might have a hard time doing simple tasks like vacuuming, because you will get distracted by 20 things in the process, noticing the empty glass that needs to be put in the kitchen, the dirty hand towel that should be put in the washer, the papers you have been meaning to put in my office…Once you start a task with many steps, you might find yourself getting irritated because you lose track of what needs to be done or you might become overwhelmed by the quantity of work.

It might be easier to be sitting at the front of the class to avoid distractions and stay focused on your teacher. You might dislike sitting in a room without windows because there is not enough stimulation for you to stay “interested”. You might like videos with subtitles to be able to process the information properly, and you might dislike when you make appointments while on the phone and they do not send you a confirmation email.

A tip is to have designated places around your home for specific objects - putting everything in the same place every single day, because once you don’t see it, you might forget it is there (also referred to as object permanence). When you move an object or forget to put it back to where it belongs, you might find yourself spending a lot of your time looking for it (even if it is in a very obvious place).

Impulsivity & emotional regulation

You might find yourself lacking a “filter” or interrupting others, and sometimes you might speak faster than you can think. You might “overshare” without wanting to. It's also common for people with ADHD to have more of a quick-temper since emotions are more difficult to manage when you have ADHD. It can sometimes be “my way or the highway”, especially if you have comorbid anxiety, this can cause you to have a low tolerance for uncertainty, and changes can bring a lot of stress for you.

In your relationships, this can sometimes show up as anger outbursts, an inability to sit still or to listen. If someone tells you a story with too many details, you might unintentionally tune them out. The speed of people's speech can also be a big component - it can be difficult to stay focused if people talk too fast because you might have difficulty with information processing, or if it is too slow, you might become disinterested in the conversation. You might forget to respond to people’s messages, and you might react more intensely to perceived rejection. It is common for people with ADHD to have what is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) which causes emotional dysregulation when there is a perceived cause of rejection, exclusion, or criticism. An association has been found between insecure attachment and ADHD.

Women with ADHD are particularly sensitive to changes in hormones. Before their period they might experience severe symptoms of PMS (Premenstrual syndrome) or they are at higher risk of having PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). They might get more irritable and emotional, and their other symptoms of executive functioning might also be exacerbated in that time. When you’re going through hormonal imbalance such as during pregnancy and menopause (or taking a contraceptive pill such as plan B), it can feel like a “second puberty” that can be accompanied by mood swings, severe anxiety, and depressive symptoms. Many women find it harder to manage their ADHD symptoms when they are experiencing Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) since estrogen influences the same receptors in the brain that release dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine.

People with ADHD are also more at risk of developing seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Delayed sleep onset time in ADHD may explain the increase in SAD symptoms.

Executive functioning

You can have difficulty with finding solutions or anything that is task oriented, with too many details or instructions. You might be afraid that you won’t be able to remember all of them. You might be someone that thinks more conceptually and with the big picture in mind. The most obvious solution can often be missed. People with ADHD often struggle with disorganization as well.

When you have ADHD, you might experience what is called “choice paralysis”, also referred to as analysis paralysis, which means you feel overwhelmed when you have too many choices, there’s an overload of information or there’s pressure to make a decision. You might react by shutting down and freezing, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and frustration. Part of the executive dysfunction that people with ADHD experience is the difficulty to prioritize.

You might have difficulty with directions, and people might refer to you as “clumsy”. This is part of the executive dysfunction - having difficulty with coordination and orientation in space.

Hyperfocus, hyperfixations & transitions

Once you start a task, you might find it hard to put it away, because once you feel like you can finally focus, you might believe you need to “use” that productivity while it lasts. Even if that means forgetting to eat, forgetting to drink or go to the bathroom…Transitions of focus might feel like it requires too much effort. Additionally, many people with ADHD struggle with flexible thinking and might have a tendency to think in black-or-white.

People with ADHD can focus, it’s just not as consistent as someone without the condition. I have personally learned that focus has a “schedule” when you have ADHD. You might find that it is easier to focus at specific times during the day - either later in the morning, mid-afternoon and again late at night. This can make it hard to fall asleep because if you do not go to sleep when you are slightly tired at night, then you might get a burst of energy later that keeps you awake. Most people with ADHD have a delayed circadian rhythm, which means their internal alarm clock for sleep and wakefulness is different from people with neurotypical brains. Individuals with ADHD might describe themselves as a “night owl”, they have difficulty waking up in the morning, have daytime sleepiness and they go to sleep late at night. Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS), chronic sleep deprivation and short sleep duration have also been associated with ADHD.

Many people with ADHD develop a hyperfixation on certain things for a certain period of time. This can be food, hobby or interest, people, topics etc. Those hyperfixation can stay for days, weeks or months. Eventually, they will wear off (however they might come back again later), and when this happens you have a complete disinterest in continuing it. In certain situations, it can even invoke feelings of disgust.

Time management

You might find yourself having a poor conception of time, with ten minutes being the same as an hour. You might be doing a task and instead you end up getting stuck into a cycle of endless scrolling on social media or you might be playing video games for hours on end without noticing that the day is almost over. Using alarms can be helpful in keeping track of time (every 30-60 min.).

Scheduling and planning can be difficult. If you have an appointment late during the day, you will most likely do very little until it is time to leave, or on the other hand, you might plan too many things at once and end up being late. If you’re not careful and you don’t plan days to rest, you might be constantly feeling overwhelmed.

Your calendar can help you stay organized if it is used properly, because without it you might not be able to remember all your appointments, projects, due dates and bills. Try to automate every payment so that you don’t find yourself with accumulated debt. Another tip is to write down the date of the food you eat, otherwise you might find it open for over a month in the back of your fridge. You can use a lot of posts-it for reminders.

Hyperactivity & restlessness

There are fewer symptoms of hyperactivity in adults than in childhood. Adult hyperactivity may be internalized as inner restlessness, which can cause anxiety. It might also appear as shaking your leg, moving around on your chair, playing with an object with your hands, playing with your hair, biting your nails etc. Your thoughts might be continually spinning in your head - this can look like a never ending list of things that needs to be done, intrusive thoughts, etc.

What can be found useful is to move your body during the day to “use” the excess energy caused by the hyperactivity. You can try to avoid eating too much sugar and drinking coffee late in the afternoon as it exacerbates the symptoms. Meditating before bed can also be helpful.

Sensory sensitivity & overstimulation

When you have ADHD, chances are you also have sensory sensitivity which can lead to sensory overload. When you feel overstimulated, you might feel on the verge of a panic attack or like you are crawling out of your skin. Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is associated with neurodivergence.

This also includes food sensitivity, which is why eating disorders are much more common amongst the neurodivergent community.

This is a non-exhaustive list of things you might dislike if you have ADHD : specific fabrics and materials like velour, tags on clothes, wet hair, sand, white bright neon lights, buzzing sounds, loud noises like a fire alarm, the sound of someone chewing, food textures like jello or oysters, strong smells like fish or eggs, overcrowded room or visual clutter, being itchy or sweaty, certain movements like swinging or being on a boat.

Tip : use sunglasses, noise-canceling headphones, minimize having multiple sensory input at once if possible.

This sensitivity can also show up as interception, meaning a hyperawareness of internal bodily sensations such as hunger, thirst, breathing or body temperature. Some research shows that people with ADHD are more sensitive to pain.

Dopamine

ADHD is characterized by impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention due to a dysregulation in dopamine levels which regulate our attention, motivation, and reward system.

Dating can boost dopamine levels, which can increase ADHD traits like impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, and hyperfocus. Novelty-seeking can draw people with ADHD to date people who appear to be risk-takers but are not ideal partners. Moreover, once the dopamine wears off after the initial “honeymoon phase” of dating, some people might find it difficult to stay committed in long-term relationships.

If you have ADHD, you might be more likely to engage in binge eating, speeding, shopping, gambling and other addictive behaviours since those can all be a source of dopamine.

Health issues

If you have ADHD, you might be struggling with nutritional deficiencies such as magnesium, iron, zinc, Omega-3 Fatty Acids, Vitamin D and Vitamin B. Food that will help your ADHD symptoms are lean protein, complex carbohydrates & omega-3 fatty acids. High amounts of fruits, vegetables, fish and seafood, or nuts can be beneficial. Food containing EPA, DHA and vitamin C as well as probiotics have been found to improve symptoms of ADHD in diverse studies.

It is recommended to do some bloodwork and follow-up with your doctor.

ADHD in females is associated with sleep disorders and autoimmune diseases such as psoriasis, asthma, Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. Studies suggest that there is an association between ADHD and IBD. People with ADHD more frequently suffer from physical conditions associated with pain, such as inflammatory diseases. Adults with pathological pain conditions, such as fibromyalgia, have a very high prevalence of ADHD. ADHD and systemic autoimmune diseases (allergies and atopic diseases) have also been linked. The presence of ADHD has been found to worsen pain symptoms due to higher pain sensitivity (i.e., central sensitization).

ADHD is often comorbid with other mental health and neurological conditions such as anxiety and depression, eating disorders and substance use disorder, learning disabilities and autism.

Although there is so much misinformation, ADHD is not a "personality trait" that everyone has because they can't focus on their workload. ADHD impacts every area of your life, from your hobbies, to your responsibilities and your relationships.