Breaking the Silence: How Society Normalizes Sexual Violence

IT IS NEVER THE VICTIM’S FAULT.

No matter what they wear. No matter if they said yes earlier but changed their mind later. No matter if you are in a relationship with them. No matter if they were drunk, high or even asleep, worst unconscious. No matter if they said yes to do “some things” but then you decided to do “everything”. For an act to be consensual, you need 3 YES. Is it authentic? Is it given freely? And is it well-informed? 

Rape culture is defined as the normalization of sexual violence against women, a definition that emerged in the 1980-1990s from the radical feminist movement. However, we must consider the intersectionality of sexual violence, which analyses not only patriarchy, but white supremacy, heteronormativity, and capitalist exploitation. Rape culture includes myths, discourses, and practices. There are five components that make up a rape culture: traditional gender roles, sexism, adversarial sexual beliefs, hostility toward women, and acceptance of violence.

Rape culture is also referred to as “sex object culture”, which normalizes women being seen as an object to please others, with the underlying idea that we don’t own our bodies. 

For instance, teaching girls not to get raped, instead of teaching guys (or human beings in general) not to rape. Teaching women to be beautiful, and teaching men to be strong. Using women’s bodies to sell…these are all subtitle messages that are derived from patriarchy and rape culture.

Note : sexual assault happens to men and it also happens between people of the same sex. However, sexual assault is a gendered crime, with women much more likely to be victimized then men.

THE ABSENCE OF A NO DOES NOT MEAN YES! 

If you don’t feel safe and if you feel pressured to engage in sexual acts - it’s assault. Sexual assaults includes a variety of actions, that are not exclusive to rape. It can be an unwanted kiss, groping, sensual massages, coercitive sex and “date rape”. Harassment can be pictures taken or shared without your knowledge, being catcalled, explicit texts or comments, someone who keeps asking you on a date even after you said no. If someone keeps pressuring you after you communicate that you don’t want to, that’s coercive. 

Learning to read body language is important. If they don’t feel comfortable enough to say no, their body will speak for them. Are they tense or rigid, or limp? Are they even in a clear state of mind to take that decision or are they intoxicated? Is it even legal (are they underage)? 

Making someone feel unsafe is not okay.

Rape culture is maintained by the norm of silencing victims of rape. Experiencing sexual violence can be very traumatic for many people. Many of them react in passive or submissive responses during sexual assault as a form of survival, which has been conditioned by culture or abuse. It doesn’t mean they gave their consent or that they are responsible for what happened. 

Victims of rape are specifically vulnerable for being blamed for their assault comparatively to other forms of violence. 

Nearly 1 in 5 women in the United States will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Of those women who have been sexually assaulted, 41% have been assaulted by an acquaintance (Black et al., 2011). 

Sexual assaults are one of the most under-reported crimes (Fisher et al., 2000, 2003; Rennison, 2002).

Traumatic experiences are stored as non-verbal sensory fragments. “Sexual intimacy presents a particular barrier for survivors of sexual trauma. The physiological processes of arousal and orgasm may be compromised by intrusive traumatic memories; sexual feelings and fantasies may be similarly invaded by reminders of the trauma.” (Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman, 1992)

“...to overcome the barriers of denial, secrecy, and shame that prevented them from naming their injuries… A feminist understanding of sexual assault empowered victims to breach the barriers of privacy, to support one another, and to take collective action.” (Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman, 1992)

Below is a great article to read : https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2019/11/compilation-ways-you-can-stand-against-rape-culture