The Courage to Heal

Mental health isn’t linear, it isn't one size fits all. It isn’t a catch phrase, a one-time solution or a quick fix. It shouldn't be taboo, it isn’t a weakness, it isn’t for attention, it isn’t shameful. But here’s what it actually is : it is emotions, it is resilience, it is a mix of situations and environment, biology and neurochemistry, it is trauma and attachment. It is unique to each, it is inconsistent but always there, it is a combination of psychological and physical symptoms. It is more than stress, it can develop into an illness, it can mean struggling, it can be hopeful. It can be facing abuse or invalidation, it is acts of self-care and it can require an attitude of radical acceptance.

Everyone has mental health...Let me repeat that. Everyone has mental health, but not everyone has a mental illness.

Someone can get sick without getting ill. It’s the same thing for your mental health. Sometimes you can have those maladaptive behaviours or personality traits, without it turning into a disorder, and other times it’s unavoidable. 

The brain is an organ too, and any organ can have “dysfunctions” or injuries. It isn’t all a question of perspectives, of efforts or faith. You may want to believe that something will “cure” you, but it doesn’t work that way. You may need professional help if it gets too difficult to manage it on your own. That is okay. Coping skills and having a good support system can make all the difference. There’s no magic pill (but medication can really help a great deal for some people). 

We all have rough patches. But being sad doesn’t mean you are depressed, just like being depressed doesn’t mean you are sad. Being impulsive and having mood swings doesn’t mean you have a personality disorder. Not feeling comfortable being in big crowds doesn’t mean you have social anxiety, and being on a diet doesn’t mean you will develop an eating disorder. Obsessing over a clean space doesn’t automatically mean you have OCD either. A mental illness is about intensity and duration of symptoms, and the impact it has on your life, on your daily life. Some people have mental illnesses and are functional in accordance with society's standards, while others aren’t. Some people will be able to completely recover, and others won’t.

Recovering from a mental illness is not easy, and not everyone will understand that sadly. All you can do is your best with what you have. Some days taking a shower is an accomplishment while other times it’s going to work for a full week, giving back a school project in time or going out with friends. Yes, even doing “basic self-care” such as going to your therapy appointment, brushing your teeth or doing some crafts can be an act of survival sometimes. Whatever that is, be proud of it. You put effort, you tried. You gave it your best shot with the energy that you had at that time. That is remarkable. 

Just like your physical illness affects your mood and psychological state, your mental illness can influence your physical body. Saying I’m “tired” isn’t always about needing sleep, a lack of hunger isn’t necessarily a lack of appetite, and migraines aren’t always related to a physical cause. You can have a mental illness and be in chronic pain, have difficulty doing the most mundane tasks, just like you can have a mental illness and be thriving in every aspect of your life. A mental illness can be manageable if you have the right tools...

Some people can run a marathon in 5 hours while others can only do it in a couple of days because they can’t stand on their feet for too long without being in excruciating pain. Same thing goes for a mental illness, sometimes we just need more support than others or we might need more accommodations. It doesn’t mean we can’t do it, and it doesn’t make us inadequate. It just means you might need a different approach.

Remember, take care of yourself because when we stop prioritizing our self-care, that’s when it’s easy to fall back into old patterns. Be proud of how far you’ve come. And if you are struggling with a mental illness and you feel like you are barely surviving, I am proud of you. It’s exhausting to be fighting your own brain. Do not forget to reach out for help, do what you can to keep your head above the water. You survived everything so far, you can keep doing it, again and again. Whatever is the thing that keeps you alive, hold on to it. You deserve the best life has to offer, even if you don’t believe it at the moment. Give yourself a chance.